Beauty

Sometimes the beauty of my little boy is overwhelming. When his cheek pressed against mine this morning it was so soft. I was gardening, he came behind me, threw his arms around my neck and giggled. My smile was to each end of my face and suddenly tears welled up in my eyes. I thought of what a tragedy it is to have something so beautiful taken away prematurely. The pain of that thought! So I grabbed him and held him and kissed him. That soft cheek and giggle and smile with his dimple.I guess my tears were tears of joy and relief that he was there to hold. Moreover, thankfulness for my little blessing.

Thought

Thought:

Today I thought about my son learning to talk more clearly as days progress and I realized that one of the most sad things I can think about happening when my little boy begins to speak is that he will learn to tell untruths and half-truths.

Thanks

I am thankful for my parents who:

• Didn't let us watch much TV and so we used our imaginations
• Bought our clothes from thrift stores because we learned to find great things in unexpected places
• Had dinner with us every night because we learned to be polite and we learned to eat healthy

I am thankful for my mom:

• Who read books and taught me to read 
• Who didn't tell us what words meant but told us to stop and consider if we could figure it out. And then to look it up in the dictionary. I have an excellent vocabulary because I learned to be curious about word meanings and look them up myself. 
• Who danced in the kitchen because now I know for sure kids love it when you do that. 
• Who wrote down everyone's birthday and remembered people's birthday because it taught me remembering a fact like that about people makes them feel special. 
• Who created a "costume" bin for us out of things she found because it was fun! And I learned to direct and to create and it fostered my acting bug.

I am thankful for my dad:

• Who let us play his drums (until 10PM) because I can play the drums now and I learned to respect neighbors nighttime. 
•  Who took hours picking out a card for birthdays or drew one himself because I can still read over the one's he gave me and I learned that making cards for people makes the cards that more special. 
• Who talked like Donald Duck and Foghorn Leghorn because we laughed and laughing is good. And I practiced imitation as well. 
• Who played Dodgeball and Baseball outside with us because my athleticism was nurtured and he taught us to have fun outside. Also, it confirmed that girls could have fun in this way too. 
• Who played Hide and Seek, Checkers, Armwrestling, and the Get-Away-Game with us inside because I had a dad who played with us and taught us we could have fun inside beside video games... and because I learned that you could make up games!

I am thankful for my siblings:

Joseph

• Always made ridiculously detailed Lego structures.
•  Made contraptions out of things in his room. 
• Told me I look cute with braces (if my parents said it...they have to! But your brother? Maybe I do!) 
• Let me dress him up, do his hair, and take pictures of him. I'm a hairstylist now. 
• Told me not to worry about what people say 
• Made fun of my Feminist streak (so now it is even stronger)
• Asked my advice about stuff
•  Generally went along with my schemes. Such as a having a karate match, being whatever part I cast him in our plays, filling our plastic pool with freshly mowed grass and swimming in it, Pinecone wars (with trash can shields), etc.

Noah

• Did some amazingly accurate voice imitations 
• He also let me dress him up and take pictures 
•  And he would comb my hair although he got a comb stuck in it "curling" my hair 
• Let me dye his hair 
• Was my personal GPS even at 10-that boy has sense of direction. 
• Made us laugh. 
• Rode bikes with me from our house to Downtown Houston. That was an adventure. 
• Saved me from a Mosh Pit that I had gotten us into. "Noah, let me show you how to get all the way to the front of a concert" which I succeeded in, but I had never been to a POD concert before.

Camille 

• Always asking questions... and I shared a room with her 
• So generous that it affected me in positive ways
•  Loved for me to sing her to sleep. It made me feel special that she wanted me to.
•  Likes hanging out with me
•  She thought I was cool: "Let's ride in car, roll the windows down, and listen to music real loud." 
• Creative in thinking of ways of having fun 
• Is that girl that everybody knows and who's phrases turn into catchphrases, but she's the nice version. 
• Always looks cute and can put together outfits in an instant that would take me half an hour. 
• Is wise beyond her years.

We all played outside together, made puppet shows together, rollerskated in the house together, played in the flooded streets together, rode bikes, took walks, made a backyard circus together. So many things. And now, my sibling are all still interesting to me. I am thankful I have an interesting family.

I am thankful for my husband, Bobby:

• That we met serving kids outside in the great outdoors.
•  That he watches our son so I can go out (a husband should do this, but many don't) 
• That he doesn't think I am made only to be home. He is coaching basketball but is making sure that I can still take my acting class, even if Elijah has to go to a game. 
• Thinks about my family (helps my dad with computer stuff, he took my mom out to lunch before, is interested in my siblings ventures). 
• Wants me to be at his basketball games 
• Still gets mad at me, which means he cares what I think.
•  Likes music and searching for it, so I don't have to. I love awesome music but not searching for it. I like to happen upon it. 
•  Swing dances with me and dances at weddings with me (even though it may require a drink to get him through it.)

My, son, Elijah:

• His laugh His dimple 
• That he looks like me
•  That he hugs me 
• That he wants to be with me
•  Watching him be creative with toys 
• And without toys. 
• That he says "Hi" to everyone and loves people 
• That he smiles at strangers who need it 
• That he sings in the grocery store, and the car, and in bed in the morning before I get him. 
• That he is silly and loves to laugh.

My best Pal, Nat:

•  For being one of the most thoughtful people I know. When she comes over she washes her dishes, when she has spent the night she folds her bedding! She helps in a way where you don't even know what is going on and it is done.
•  For being adventurous 
•  For going along with my schemes
•  For appreciating the art I do 
• For pointing out beauty
•  For loving life 
• That she doesn't care about age!
• Painting together, making food together, gardening, kicking a ball around, open mic nights, concerts, jumping in Barton Springs, making silly videos, watching "Dude, Where's My Car?" together, washing her car, having a garage sale, starting our Etsy shop. So, much more. I am thankful for Nat.

• I am thankful for acting classes, so freeing 
• Mixed Martial Arts classes, aggression feels good 
• Painting 
• Beautiful weather 
• Creating, imagination 
• Music, how many sounds can humans come up with to express themselves. So beautiful. 
• The written word, I love Smithing and reading the written word.
•  My camera, it captures moments and tells stories. 
• Canoeing, it is like hiking on the water. 
• Hiking 
• Camping, my favorite part is making fire and waking up to the sounds the woods make. Trees, majestic. 
• Laughing.
•  Food. 
• Dancing, dancing, dancing. It is like laughing and art married.
•  God who created it all.  Amen

Musings

When making a speech, do not begin stories with lines like "I was ironing my shirt this morning and..." because then the only thing people will be paying attention to is how many wrinkles you have in your shirt and the only thing they will be pondering is whether you are good at ironing or not.

In a play you have to remember that what the audience is seeing are the most joyous or the most heartbreaking moments in a person's life. It doesn't matter if the person is doing something as mundane as eating cereal in a scene, eventually their heart will be full or broken.

In a play, and often in life, the only things worth fighting for are love and recognition. When you are acting you must have an end goal as a character and you must be fighting for something and it will be, in one form or another, for love or recognition. This is so interesting.

Map out a character's goal and actions and then throw it away and only know your goal. That is what we do in life. We only know our goal, perhaps we map out a few actions but Life doesn't usually follow the script we would like. You change your actions to meet your goal. The same with acting, just listen and respond after you have examined your goal.

In a scene we see some of life's most beautiful moments and we are witness to it. But life's most glorious moments usually only happen between one or two people. That is truly wonderful. And only glorious moments happen in real life.

It seems to me that we must all know all feelings. Although we have not experienced all of life's setbacks or joys, we have the ability to know and rejoice or cry with the characters. We, perhaps, cannot know it fully, only dimly, but we know it.

Back In the Day I Was All That and a Bag of Chips. Boo Ya!

SPOILER ALERT: There are pictures at the end!

I definitely wasn't all that and a bag of chips but I just HAD to use three terms from "back in the day" in my title. There were so many more I could have used. Like "what up, G"?" and "duh" or, better yet, "doy." Where did that one come from anyway?
I have definitely been on a 1990's kick lately and it might be because I am nearing 30. And, also, as I mentioned in a previous blog, people a decade younger or so don't know what I am talking about OR they don't realize we didn't have something they have now.
I have a story from just last week that is the perfect example, actually. My husband was telling a story about a homeless magician guy that did a card trick for him in a restaurant (this was about ten years ago). My husband was with some friends and the guy came up to Bobby and had him pick a card from an invisible deck, the guy walked out of the restaurant and didn't come back for a good ten minutes. Meanwhile, Bobby told his friends what the card was but they didn't leave the table during that time and the guy was not even inside the restaurant. The man comes back and pulls out the card Bobby was thinking of! Well, the boy he was telling this story to (who is about fifteen) says "maybe your friends texted him." Bobby and I looked at each other and we both realized the same thing, there was no such thing as texting then! It was funny. It just makes me think about the 90's and what was different then. It's late and I know I will leave out a ton of things but here is what comes to mind:

Hair:
Bowl Cut
Ceasar Cut
Shag Cut
Perms
Crimped hair
The Bob and bangs

Clothes:
Neon...
Then Grunge
Flannel
Hooded Shirts
Platform Shoes
Skorts
Leggings
Lots of layers and, wow, the patterns didn't go together
Shortalls
Wide leg pants
Baggy polos
Hats
Babydoll dresses
Chokers
I could go on...

Music:
Spice Girls
MC Hammer
Vanilla Ice
NKOTB
Smashing Pumpkins
The Cranberries

TV:
Fresh Prince
Family Matters
Full House
My So-called Life
Silver Spoons
Duck Tales
Tale Spin
Darkwing Duck
Tiny Toons
Rescue Rangers
Step by Step
Growing Pains
Family Ties
What was that one with girl that was a robot?
Which reminds me...ALF (he got on my nerves, though)
Too many shows

Toys:
Pogo ball
Pogs
Nintendo (just nintendo, no super, no whatever came after that...)

Movies:
Home Alone
Ninja Turtles
Edward Scissorhands
Hey...the FIRST Toy Story
Apollo 13
Aladdin
A League Of Their Own
Dumb and Dumber
Mighty Ducks
Father of the Bride

Slang or Lines:
Duh
Doy
Talk to the hand
Whatever!
Loser
Boo ya!
Aiight
Crunk
Don't even go there!
Jacked up
Oh snap
Score
Sweeet
Stylin'
Tight
Bra (as in, "bro" or "brother")

It is late and I need to quit but to top off the blog some pics of me in the 90's

You're welcome


I really do have on a fanny pack "Shoot, I know you just di-nt"

So sweet...

The grunge look, I loved hats...and does my hair look gold? Yeah, I dyed it with peroxide.

The grunge look again, hat again, Carmen might kill me. "I am slowly going crazy 1,2,3,4,5,6 switch, crazy going slowly am I 6,5,4,3,2,1 switch..."

And some 90's boys. "Ain't no thing but a chicken wing-is that G-money, bra?"

Oh My!

I haven't written a post since January! When I have a break from running after my baby boy, cooking for my family (which included 4 teenage foreign exchange students) and cleaning up after them all, I found that it took so long to de-muddle my brain that my baby had woken up from his nap or someone needed to be taken somewhere or cleaned, etc.

I have this desire to write well thought out posts, but I think, once in awhile I should just post something to make sure I do. However, I have been writing in a notebook consistently for the past month. I have to say I am proud of this accomplishment. So, now that I am writing something, let me at least broach some subject.
I have found that I am finally entering a new stage in my life, where kids in high school do not know what some of the things I talk about are. I wondered when I would reach this stage where I am unique to some generation, where I say "we didn't have that when I was your age", where I date myself, when I mention a fad that I didn't really realize was a fad until I see that they have no idea what it is, where I say "I was there" and they were, like, 3 or when technology is a little ahead of me.

In the past month, I have predicted fashion, but only because I have recognized that the 1990's are back, and I guess what might come next. In the past month, I have mentioned three things and the teenagers I talked to didn't know what I was talking about.

1) Remember the Magic Eye pictures? Where you had to stare at them and see if you could see an image that didn't seem to be there? They didn't know what that was.
2) Remember the Sky Screamer at Astroworld (at least you Houstonians)? They had never ridden it and they didn't know what it was. But, really, they were only 13 when Astroworld was gone completely.
3) They didn't know that DC Talk was originally Hip Hop. Not everyone knows DC Talk but these kids did. However, they didn't know that they started out Hip Hop. I started talking about it because they mentioned Fanny packs. I told them Fanny Packs were actually cool at one time (like when I was a kid) and then I proceeded to talk about how Toby Mac wore one in a DC Talk music video for Heavenbound when they were Hip Hop. I even started to sing the song. That is probably one of those moments where Elijah will slap his forhead and say "OMG" when he is older.

A Breath of Fresh Air

I haven't consistently been writing down my "beautiful things" but I haven't forgotten about it. It has helped me a lot to focus on the small things so that I can look back and realize how full my life really is.

Saturday I took Elijah to the Galleria with me and he was admired by so many ladies (and men, but not quite as extravagantly). I could not help but smile as each of them cooed at him and were absolutely overjoyed when they were rewarded with a smile or a giggle. Their reactions to Elijah clarified a comment one of Bobby's co-workers made when they met Elijah as a newborn. She said to the other ladies in the office "He is like a breath of fresh air, isn't he?" And he is. I think that a baby is like a breath of fresh air. Healthy and refreshing for the heart, mind, body, and spirit. Like a beautiful, needed surprise. Babies are so pure and perfect in their newness and we don't yet know what God created them to be so they are a clean slate and a wonder.

This has caused me to surmise that once the masses fall out of love with babies, it will show a more callous heart toward God and purity and caring. I wonder? Maybe I am wrong.

At the Galleria there were plenty who pushed past me in their rush to find what they needed. Their lack of concern for others, even a woman with a baby, a stroller, a diaper bag, and purse struggling in a huge, crowded mall. It was disheartening. Then there were those who stopped to coo at Elijah or ask me how I was doing and it was encouraging. There were those who knocked into my stroller and never looked back and then there were those who helped me bring the stroller up and down stairs. There were people who stopped to open the door for me and my load and those who let it shut on me as I had two wheels out, one stuck in the door and a baby in my arms.

I am thankful for all the beautiful people who made my trip a little easier and although it was a struggle it was worth seeing the joy those 12 pounds and giggles could bring to others. Ladies stuck at work whose faces lit up when they saw him. Those in line, not so disgruntled because they can talk to my baby and get a smile. People who assisted me having a lightness in their step after they knew they had really helped someone else out.

The small things make life beautiful. Like my small, little brown-eyed boy. The ladies at the YMCA call him "Bright Eyes."

Camp

Beautiful thing:
November 19- The delicious dinner I made for Tony's birthday! I think he really enjoyed it. I made Salmon, rice, watermelon, corn on the cob, and crab and then placed a lobster on his plate. Those are all of his favorite foods.

November 20-22- We went to Camp Peniel for the weekend taking the boys to camp and the weather was beautiful but not only that I got to be outside in it- a lot! In particular this morning I washed my hair and stepped out with it still wet. The air was cool and the sunshine bright and the wind was a mere breeze blowing my hair back every so often, brushing my face. I loved it!

Camp Peniel has a High School camp in November and we took the boys to it because if they want to get an American experience this is definetly one of the best! We aren't sure what their verdict is, but ours is that camp will always be in our blood and we loved it!

The weather was beautiful. We played Warball (which is intense indoor dodgeball)and "Rocks" which is a game other camp people will know but would be confusing if I tried to type it out here.

I only got to do canoeing for activities because Elijah was inevitable hungry right around activity time each day, but he did so well I was absolutely proud of him. He was hungry during worship time as well, but at least I can feed him and enjoy that at the same time. It is lovely listening to a sermon outside. I imagine it is what Jesus' disciples did often. I love doing anything outside though when the weather is clear and crisp and beautiful. I think it makes my mind more clear and everything else crisp and beautiful!

Raindrops on Roses

I am the kind of person who cannot work in a mess. I will clean up the mess so that I can do the other thing I needed to do in that same room. I pick up after myself. I leave things cleaner than they were when I came. That's just how I am. I feel like I never get to enjoy the fruits of my labor and it always seems like one big circle because I end up cleaning up after everyone. I don't expect spotlessness just a little consideration. However, this isn't supposed to be an epistle on cleanliness, it is just to say that it makes life discouraging when it feels like all you do is run around in a circle. That statement brings me to my main focus. I realize that life is made up of small, beautiful moments. Sometimes we get to travel or do something really exciting, but each day there is usually a beautiful thing that makes your heart swell or at least makes you smile. I want to try to write down each day that beautiful thing. Seeing it written helps and I can go back and look at all the beautiful moments my life is made up of...

This what I wrote the night I started it, Bobby and I were fighting and it was something small but important that happens over and over. Even though it is something we need to work on, it was ruining the night because I couldn't get over it and that is something I need to work on. Here it is:

November 14, 2009

I need to remember to live life

I need to take a moment each day to think about the beautiful things like Elijah laughing and smiling at me and so on.

I need to not focus so hard on my faults or on Bobby’s he has so many good traits and I love him, his faults are habits and not statements that he does not care about me or think of me or consider me.

Remember when we fight I can’t take care of every problem in one night, I can’t discuss everything I am worried about or unhappy with or that we need to improve all in one night.

The beginning of journaling my beautiful things:

November 14, 2009- beautiful thing
Bobby and I had an argument and when we do I cannot sleep because I mull over all he said and do not know what was said out of anger and what is true and how he views me and I think and think and get upset and stay upset. He was very tired and I had kept him up even to the point of us getting out of bed. I apologized for keeping him up and he said “it is worth it if it makes you feel better.” It made my heart swell with love for him.

November 15, 2009
Playing Streetfighter 2 with Bobby and kicking his butt!

November 16, 2009
Listening to "Kindred Spirits" which is the CD that Bobby made me and played the night he asked me to marry him. As I listened I could see the night perfectly. His exceitement, his careful planning, dancing, so happy that he was home for a couple of days, and the proposal.

November 17, 2009
Bobby came home dressed up in his work clothes, dress shirt, slacks, and a tie, looking so professional (and handsome) but when he saw me with Elijah, he dropped his work satchel, took him from me and smiled the biggest smile as he talked to his son. That makes me so happy and watching that love for our baby increases my love for Bobby.

What I Have Learned About God's Love

After being a mother for a mere 5 weeks I feel like I have come to understand God's love in a new way. In a way that is completely astounding and which is the sort of revelation that is always right before you. Sometimes you repeat the facts mindlessly from knowing the bible. Sometimes you truly do have little glimpses of His awesome love, sometimes you long to know it better. It seems so much clearer now although it is still like looking through a glass dimly as it says in 1 Corinthians.
It may seem clearer to me now and it may seem that if I write about it it will be clearer to others but I think many have tried and it is something you find out on your own. But maybe it will bless someone who reads it.

I did not create Elijah, but, in a sense, Bobby and I brought him about and he was born with a mix of mine and Bobby's genes so he is 'made in our image.' Immediately after seeing him I loved him completely. My strong desire was, first, love. Out of that love was born a desire to protect him, out of the love and desire to protect there is a willingness to sacrifice for him, even to the point of death (of myself).

This is what I believe. God loves us so much. He created us. His heart is bursting with love and He desires for us to love Him back. Even if we do not, He will go on loving us. No matter what we decide to do He will love us. We can make Him sad and it will hurt His heart beyond words.

He loves us so much that He doesn't want us to make that decision. Maybe because it will hurt us and He doesn't want us to hurt or because that decision is ignoring Him and He wants to be a part of our lives. We can make Him angry because He wants to protect us but He knows you also need your independence and in this independence you might make harmful decisions. All of these emotions stem from His love for us and His desire to protect us and be loved in return. I understand this more.

He has sacrificed so much, He has created us and given us good and perfect things. His heart is bursting with love equally for each of His children and that is why He feels each of these emotions.

Being ignored after love and sacrifice is like someone kicking you when you are down. Love and sacrifice may never be completely understood by the child and, therefore, we are capable of hurting Him so much. All of this understanding comes from how I feel about my son. I love him so much and desire to protect him. I sacrifice for him and know I will continue to and I would even unto death. I feel all of this and I think that God does too. He created us because He loves us, He also loves us because He created us and then He loves everything about us.
In reading this, consider your attitude about God and even about your own parents...

Lobster

So, we have realized that Tony, Evan, and Yun like to sleep until about noon on Saturdays. I realize what my dad thought when he would say that the whole day was wasted by then.

Bobby and I went to Cracker Barrel for a breakfast date, bought a wrench for a pipe we needed to unscrew, and bought curtains for the nursery. When we came home from all that it was only 10AM and, yes, the boys were still asleep. When they woke up, we let them lollygag around, then we decided to see what they might like to do today. It turned out that Tony really wanted to buy some Lobster-that is what he really wanted to do. We decided that they would definitely have it at Viet Hoa which is in the part of Houston that is kind of our version of China Town (Beltway 8 and Bellaire exit) and that they also might like to buy some snacks there. We had them tidy up their study room and then left for our day trip. Oh, I forgot to say that Tony was going to buy the Lobster, but he asked me to cook the Lobster. I haven't ever cooked Lobster.

Anyway, it was really interesting going to Viet Hoa. I couldn't read half of the labels but the boys came back with a cart full of groceries and told us what was gross and good (in their opinion) as we walked through the store. There were two aisles that were labeled "American Food" which was less room than they gave the fresh seafood. Not just fresh meat, fresh seafood. The store was huge. I also bought some stuff. I was able to read the sauce labels and that was what I was most interested in besides the noodles (for which I couldn't read the labels). I bought some ginger sauce, stir fry sauce, rice cooking wine, and sesame oil.

After our shopping trip, we took them to Bobby's favorite Sushi place called Oishii which is off of Richmond close to 59. I think they really enjoyed it. I think it is funny that I went out to eat and, yet, I was still going to be faced with cooking dinner tonight for Tony. Namely, Lobster which I had never done before. And I would be cleaning up afterwards. I generally feel like going out is worth it when I don't have to cook or clean. Hmmm.

I must note here that Tony could probably eat a horse each day. When people find out that we have three teenage boys to look after they comment on how much I must be feeding them. I say that my mom always said that Camille and I ate more than our brothers-which is true. I still hold to the fact that it isn't about gender. Our other two guys, Yun and Evan, eat pretty moderately, but Tony has an incredible appetite! In fact, this is a look at what Tony ate for dinner. We took them out to eat and Tony ate a regular size dinner at Oishii (6PM), we got home and while Tony was waiting for the Lobster to cook he ate a bowl of Raisan Bran Crunch (8PM), Tony then ate the Lobster with a side of white rice (9PM), after he ate his Lobster and rice he finished the night off with a banana.

Anyway, I thought you might like a visual of the Lobster than I got to cook. We bought them live and even though they were suffocating in a bag for a couple of hours, they managed to still wiggle a little showing us they were alive.




Here's a close-up
Here is Tony working hard to get to the meat
He enjoyed his Lobster and so I count the night as a success and hope that he sees God's love in my willingness to cook Lobster for him that night.

Elijah James

I haven't written a blog in a bit because I worked very hard on a particular blog in July and it somehow didn't save all the way and I got very discouraged. I will try at some point to write the blog over again, but I have to go through a mourning period for it first. Writing another blog is a good exercise in getting over the other one I lost.

Anyway, this past Monday (the 17th) I went to get my third ultrasound. I am not sure why but I guess the doctor just wanted to see what his weight was and how he is devloping (I am 36 weeks, by the way).

The technician spread the jelly over my belly and began moving the instrument around to get different shots of my baby boy. Sometimes I could almost make out what part she was looking at and sometimes I just trusted that she knew what she was talking about. She did get a shot between his legs and said "Yup, it's still a boy." I could actually make that one out when she told me what it was.

The most wondrous thing, though, was when she came to his face. You could see his face so clearly. At first, he had his hand balled into a fist and stuck into his mouth. The technician wanted him to take his hand out so she could have a better shot of his face. He did take it out and visibly yawned and stuck it back in his mouth. It was so clear that he yawned that I reacted with a yawn. You know how when you see a person yawn and then you have to as well? That was how it was and he is not yet outside my womb. I thought that this was so cool.

He yawns and kicks and sleeps. He is, apparently, at about 5 pounds 10 ounces or so, still a boy, and doing great by all measurements. His name is Elijah James and I will be meeting him soon.

June

Well, it is June and because I am not a consistent blogger I don't expect that too many people will be reading this. I have a few minutes that are my own right now which is rare at camp. Usually the only time that is my own is when I am asleep and I could possibly be called on then. In fact, I am supposed to be asleep right now and so I suppose that is why I have some time.

The more I think about what I just said, the more I should just laugh. While I am writing this I am also laminating something in the office pertaining to camp. I guess that I think when I am not laminating and answering a phone call or laminating and typing a lesson at the same time that I am having "free time." I have time of my own because I am laminating and BLOGGING.

I am not writing to say anything in particular right now. I am simply writing because it has been a few months and because I need to write. Things are pretty crazy during the summer when you work at a camp and they are crazy in the months prior to camp as well which is why I guess I haven't written in awhile. I get pretty stressed and it nice to punch the keys on this keyboard.

It is funny when you have a leadership role at a camp. A lot less campers know you. They also wonder what you actually do. Every week I have campers tell me that I am lucky because I get to ride in a golf cart (this is actually the first year I have, but they also said I was lucky when I 'got to ride a bike'). What they don't know is that in the time that I saw them at their activity, left, and came back to their activity I may have done two things in the office, talked with their counselor about pertinent information, had a meeting, and spent time with them all in their 40 minute activity. Last week at camp there was camper who said "Your lucky you get to ride in a golf cart...it's like doing go-karts all day long." Bobby said I should have replied "yeah, and I get paid for it, too!" Anyway, if I get any more free time I will write about some funny camp stories. Most of them are inside jokes and aren't nearly as funny written, but I will see what I can do.

Uncanny

Two days ago I was going to make "extreme" nachos (homeade salsa, nachos with bell pepper, zuchinni, cilantro, ground beef, tomatoes, a minute amount of onions, and lots of cheese) and watch a movie ("Get Smart" to be exact). I went to Baywood Foods which is the closest grocery store and is right next to First Choice where we rent movies. The grocery store did not have cilantro (which I consider the most important element in extreme nachos) and the movie store did not have "Get Smart." I called Bobby to let him know that I was going to have to go to Wal-mart. This was our conversation:




Emily: I am going to be a little later because Baywood didn't have cilantro and First Choice didn't have "Get Smart."



Bobby: That's a bummer



E: I guess I will have to go to Wal-mart (sigh). Do you know of any grocery stores that are closer?



B: John Hitchens said that Big Chief has the best and cheapest produce



E: But Wal-mart is closer than Big Chief. Big Chief is 5 miles away.



B: But I thought you said Wal-mart was 6 miles away.



E: No, I said Wal-mart was 3.5 to 4 miles away.



I recorded this conversation merely to open for the rest of the story of my weird habit/talent. My weird habit is calculating the number of miles to various frequented locations. Also calculating the average number of minutes it takes to drive or walk or run somewhere. I also calculate landmarks along the way so that I know how good my time is, etc. For example, I knew that to get back and forth from Wal-mart to where I was would take about 8.25 minutes or so. I could go through all the reasons why, but I won't.


My talent is calculating how long it will take to get somewhere. When I go to work I know that it takes me 6 minutes driving, 1-2 minutes in the parking lot, and less than 1 minute to walk through the mall to Mastercuts. Therefore, I leave 10-15 minutes before I need to be at work. I have never bought a stopwatch because that would drive me crazy. I would be timing to the second.

I honed this ability playing a game with my brother on our way to church. Houston Church was quite a distance from our house (19 miles) and so Joseph and I would play a game trying to see who could guess the most accurately what time we would arrive at church. I knew that the average was about 22 minutes when the church was on Woodridge and 27 minutes when it moved to Eldridge. So, I would guess based on landmarks (like whether we were on the freeway or not or whether we had passed a certain exit or not). I usually won. I knew how many exits there were and that they were about a mile apart each which meant about 1 minute per exit. So, that usually helped. If there was traffic, I timed how long it took on average for certain flows of traffic and used that in my guessing the next time. I know for a fact that if you are going at least 20 miles an hour on the freeway you should not get off. It isn't faster.

Somehow I calculate when we will arrive somewhere pretty well. When I cooked meals this past weekend one of our staff commented that the food finishes right before it is time to ring the bell. "I time it that way" I said.

With all of this ability, knowing how to calculate time, I usually put about ten more things on my 'to do' list than I can actually do. Well, more like 3 things to be exact.

Fighting

I feel like writing but don't know what to write about. What is on my mind, however, is how much I love my husband.

Marriage is an interesting thing. After five years my husband can make me more mad than anyone else, but when we are mad at each other it is the worst feeling in the world. I would rather forgive him than be at odds. It doesn't mean that I don't act the martyr once in a while or almost every time we fight but our fighting doesn't last for long. In fact, the longer we are married the less time it takes us to make up.

A fight could last all night when we first got married. In fact, one memorable night we started close to after dinner, we yelled and slammed doors and walked off and came back and did it again. We ended up being so tired that we tried to go to bed but we kept each other up fighting. So, we turned on the lights and fought some more. Finally we were so exhausted we decided to go to Denny's because maybe we needed to get out of the house. We hadn't exactly made up, I think we might have bickered in the car, but as we sat there, in Denny's, we began to talk normally and it was better. I think we went to bed around 3. We were so tired when we got to Denny's that we didn't stay long. That was all night and I can't even remember what it was about!

After five years some fights last longer than others but they generally are not more than 30 minutes. Last night we fought when we were playing darts and started fighting. I know I started it and he fueled the fire and we argued, but after only a half hour or so we ended up on the couch together with his arms around me and my head on his chest.

So, this is a tribute to marriage and my husband. I love him so much! Some days I want to be married and some days I don't. But when I feel like I don't want to be married anymore I imagine life without Bobby and it makes me cry and I still don't...but only for a little while and I run out to find him.

Sylvia

Ever since I had to write a paper on Sylvia Plath's poem "Lady Lazarus" I have had an interest in her. I had a desire to read "The Bell Jar" by her but have always forgotten once I step into Half Price Books and am completely surrounded by them. What was I looking for again? So many books to meet and so little time! Then I end up with another book, not completely satisfied, because I know I came for something else! That also happened with "The Handmaiden" by Margaret Atwood but I ended up getting it for Christmas a couple of years ago from my husband who did remember (only because he had it written down, mind you. That is not normal.)



Anyway, I am not completely sure why but my sister-in-law, Jenny, and I ended up talking about "The Bell Jar" this weekend. I mentioned that I wanted to read "The Bell Jar" and she said she did too. That, in fact, she had just finished reading "The Death and Life of Sylvia Plath" because she had heard "The Bell Jar" was largely autobiographical and she wanted to understand it better when she did read it. Well, I ended up borrowing "The Death and Life of Sylvia Plath" and will read "The Bell Jar" soon. I have also decided that I will buy it. I mean as opposed to checking it out of the library.



The library in Hitchcock, TX not only has hours that make me wonder "who beside that same kid on the computer makes it to the library before they close?" I, myself, have never been there earlier than 30 minutes before it was scheduled to close. Except the time I had to post fliers for camp. I was tempted to stay but I had to work. Beside the hours, the selection reminds me that I never should have been tempted in the first place. I believe their library is made up of all the thrift store books in the neighbouring areas. You know what I mean. Like ten copies of a science book from the sixties. Bobby and I had an excellent thrift store we used to go to in Spring Branch called MAM and it had an awesome book selection, but I have never been in another like it. Most thrift stores have the books that Half Price wouldn't give you any money for. Half Price employees probably take them in the back and chunk them for you, muttering: "You should be paying me to chunk these for you." Thrift stores only take them to fill up space. Anyway. The La Marque library is better. Not great, but significantly better. To sum it up, soon will come a Half Price Book/Jamba Juice smoothie night!



I also thought I would include in this post a poem I wrote a little over a year ago simply because I feel like making this post longer. It has been too long since I added to this blog!

GOOD MANNERS

Her petticoat covers

The red-blooded maiden legs

Underneath.

Ladylike, she crosses them

So they are incarcerated,

And strapping legs

Grow weak and womanly.

One hand hides the other

While they sit

Powerful and still in her lap

Gentle and refined,

Her polished poise

Is two-fisted now.

Sloping shoulders

Cloak well-built bones

Gallant, they hold up her girlish

And whimsical burdens.

All the while

Sensitive, soft, and shy

Her smile is all three

She has learned

To flex those muscles well.

They are her honor

A vigorous attempt at being deferential

This smile can be reproduced

Over and over.

Once a month she submits

To its pains

And bears a child-

Like resemblance

To women stouthearted,

Gone before her.

-Emily Chumchal Andrews

Hunted

I have never wondered what it felt like to be a deer. Specifically a deer who was hunted. This Saturday I did not wonder either I just instinctively felt that I knew.
All week we have been preparing for camp to start, we have trained counselors hoping to equip them with all they will need this summer. Before this week, we worked most days and didn't have days off and we would stay inside our house or go off of camp. This was to ensure that we rested at least a little. Sometimes people would call us and sometimes we wouldn't answer. If sometimes we didn't answer then sometimes people came knocking on our door on our day off. This Saturday I wanted to make sure I had a "real" day off.
I decided to knead the stress out of myself by getting a massage. My appointment was in the morning. Well, I left with plenty of time to get there but did not realize that my truck was 30 acres away. That is, on the other side of camp from my house. I knew that people were on the other side of camp. People that might want to talk to me. However, there was nothing else to do but walk over there.
I walked leisurely at first looking around as I crossed most of the acreage, but knew that as soon as I crossed the bridge I was more likely to be seen. There is a usual path that I take when I walk to the other side, but if I were to cross where I usually do it would not be closest to my truck. Therefore, I purposefully took the smaller bridge that would lead me closer to my truck before I crossed over and would also provide an additional building to cover me for awhile. After I passed the building that covered me I looked this way and the other way and ran for my life while I was in open territory. That is, the territory where I could be seen.
I made it to my car safely and realized that what I did was very well thought out and weird if not for the circumstances. It makes me smile. It makes me realize even more the importance of what I do and also the need to do whatever it takes to rest when I get the chance.

Family

My brother Noah recorded this video using all of the family members still in the household (I was kind of jealous not being in it). Anyway, you get a chance to see the goofiness I was born in to and the family I absolutely love and am super proud of. I love my family and I will share them with you for 3 minutes and 52 seconds. (By the way, this video is even funnier if you like Moby). Enjoy!


Camille is my youngest sibling- she babysits, is way involved in her youth group, and is excited about working at Camp Good News this summer as a volunteer.

Noah is my youngest brother (older than Camille)- he likes to make videos, draw, create masks out of all sorts of materials, and is going to be a counselor at Camp Peniel this summer. His newest thing is mountain biking, but he has also played Ultimate Frisbee.

Joseph is the one right after me (yes, I am the oldest-can't you tell by my personality alone?)- he makes handcrafted jewelry and works with the Junior High at his church. He is a super fast runner and awesome climber of trees. He used to hang upside down hands free on our rope swing in the backyard and climb the tallest pines.

Mom- is a mentor for MOPS (Mother of Preschoolers) and works with the Women's Ministry at her church. She is an avid reader, National Spelling Bee champ, and super smart.

Dad- plays the drums at church (used to play in a band called "Loveshine" in the 70's), is on the church building comittee, and does Land Surverying for a living. He is 54 and has snowboarded and will go down the black diamond slopes everytime he gets a chance to ski.

Busy

The last few weeks I have finally carved out about one hour, four days a week where I go and exercise. I have found that you can always say that you do not have time for something or other, but if it is important then you need to cut out something else.
As a Camp Director my job is endless. Bobby and I have both been working seven days a week and not spending any in rest or with each other (even though we are in the office together). We have finally decided to take Mondays off. I have been feeling unhealthy lately because I have "had no time" to exercise. I finally carved out one hour, four days a week to exercise. I go into the office a little later (and sometimes stay a little later) but I feel good. I hadn't called my family in a couple of weeks but I made sure I did yesterday and invited them to dinner on Sunday. It is a process. I have to make time appear by cutting out other things. Our camp ministry is very important, but it doesn't mean anything if I haven't spent time with people I love or if I feel crappy myself. That's all I have to say today. no creative words, but at least I wrote. And at least it will impress even more upon me to make time for other things in my life.

Our Trip to Santa Fe

I was originally very excited about going to a coffee shop in Santa Fe called "Holy Spirit Espresso." It was so small there was no where to sit and it was labeled as "the best coffee shop in town." When we went there were at least seven people in front of me waiting as you can see in the picture below.
I ordered a Machiato and paid three dollars for the cup I am holding in the picture below (hence my face that asks: "this is what I paid for?" and pointing at small cup).
My reaction to the best coffee in town:
So, we went to good 'ol Starbucks and played checkers with pieces of paper we tore into squares.
THE END