Sunday, December 9, 2018

Just Some Thoughts



I wonder how much we know subconsciously. I was having a pretend conversation today, I think I do this automatically as some sort of rehearsal for any conversation I could possibly have. I can’t say it isn’t useful (although I engage in it too often, I think) but conversations cannot really be rehearsed. 
You don’t always know the conversation you will have or how it will turn even if you have an opening line you’ve practiced. Life isn’t scripted. 

But, more than important conversations I often have philosophical conversations. I guess I am having a conversation with myself or some version of myself or some person who is really a conglomeration of beliefs of various people I have met.

 Anyway, the person and I were talking about people and their stories. I wish I could write word for word what I thought, but in my journal I wrote: “Do we sometimes know part of a stranger’s story by reading their face? and by ‘knowing’ I don’t mean that we can express it exactly. There is the saying ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ which is entirely the opposite of what I am talking about.” Like what if our hearts know something about someone. Their kindredness with us. I think we know our kindred spirits. and I think we know that we have some sort of kindreness with another even if we cannot pinpoint what we are responding to yet. And sometimes we see their eyes and we appreciate the story even if we don't know the whole thing.  

Recently, a Facebook friend posted a meme that said: “Audrey Hepburn was the granddaughter of a baron, the daughter of a Nazi sympathizer, spent her childhood and teens doing ballet to secretly raise money for the Dutch resistance against the Nazis, and spent her post film career as a goodwill ambassador of UNICEF, winning the presidential medal of freedom for her efforts…And history remembers her as pretty.” I’ve thought about stuff like that before. I think that with Audrey Hepburn and a lot of other women, people are subconsciously enamored by her beauty because she was a badass. Women, especially, are often lauded for their looks instead of accomplishments and it’s sad. But I think a lot of women that are called “beautiful” are one who have natural beauty that is enhanced by their (badass) strength, light and grace and it adds an inexplicable element to the person’s beauty that people can often only recognize and explain in superficial terms.

And as for beauty, there ARE beautiful things and people. We are only fooling ourselves if we say that our eyes are not aesthetically pleased.

So, I wonder about the subconscious and how much it knows and discerns. It is scoffed at along with emotion. Which is another subject I have pondered. 

I saw a quote that is attributed to Warren Buffet (but I am not entirely sure it is his) and it has been going around social media: “You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is observing things with logic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass.” There is some truth to this and I don’t know Warren Buffet’s life (or whoever really said this) but there is also a lot I disagree with. I agree that you will suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. But when it is said that true power is observing things with logic the idea seems to be that logic is more valuable. I don’t believe it is. Also, it depends on what kind of power we are talking about here. I don’t value power over others, control. Those who believe they know what is best for everyone and act to “lead” everyone (or those they “love”) to do what they think is best. 

I believe that a world devoid of emotion would be colorless and dreary and I don’t see the point of living in a world like that. I want to make my thoughts more clear on this subject but I also want to finish this blog. It is just that logic is way OVER valued. Without the balance of emotion, there is nothing worth valuing. I guess growing up I always heard that men were logical and women were emotional and that is why we needed men to lead. Emotion was NEVER valuable, it always led to chaos or destruction. So women=emotion=not valuable. Men=logic=valuable. If you were a logical women you were an anomaly. But who decided the basis, the determining factors for logic? I guess all of this led to me to re-evaluate logic and emotion. To sort of revolt? I wanted to be strong, logical, and whatever was considered “male” so that people would think I was valuable. But I increasingly grew uncomfortable with that mindset. Especially because I really didn’t check the boxes for those things listed as “female behavior” but I didn’t check the “male behavior” boxes either. I was just Emily. 

And Emily appreciates solid, balanced logic, balanced emotion, beauty and badassery.  

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