Lobster

So, we have realized that Tony, Evan, and Yun like to sleep until about noon on Saturdays. I realize what my dad thought when he would say that the whole day was wasted by then.

Bobby and I went to Cracker Barrel for a breakfast date, bought a wrench for a pipe we needed to unscrew, and bought curtains for the nursery. When we came home from all that it was only 10AM and, yes, the boys were still asleep. When they woke up, we let them lollygag around, then we decided to see what they might like to do today. It turned out that Tony really wanted to buy some Lobster-that is what he really wanted to do. We decided that they would definitely have it at Viet Hoa which is in the part of Houston that is kind of our version of China Town (Beltway 8 and Bellaire exit) and that they also might like to buy some snacks there. We had them tidy up their study room and then left for our day trip. Oh, I forgot to say that Tony was going to buy the Lobster, but he asked me to cook the Lobster. I haven't ever cooked Lobster.

Anyway, it was really interesting going to Viet Hoa. I couldn't read half of the labels but the boys came back with a cart full of groceries and told us what was gross and good (in their opinion) as we walked through the store. There were two aisles that were labeled "American Food" which was less room than they gave the fresh seafood. Not just fresh meat, fresh seafood. The store was huge. I also bought some stuff. I was able to read the sauce labels and that was what I was most interested in besides the noodles (for which I couldn't read the labels). I bought some ginger sauce, stir fry sauce, rice cooking wine, and sesame oil.

After our shopping trip, we took them to Bobby's favorite Sushi place called Oishii which is off of Richmond close to 59. I think they really enjoyed it. I think it is funny that I went out to eat and, yet, I was still going to be faced with cooking dinner tonight for Tony. Namely, Lobster which I had never done before. And I would be cleaning up afterwards. I generally feel like going out is worth it when I don't have to cook or clean. Hmmm.

I must note here that Tony could probably eat a horse each day. When people find out that we have three teenage boys to look after they comment on how much I must be feeding them. I say that my mom always said that Camille and I ate more than our brothers-which is true. I still hold to the fact that it isn't about gender. Our other two guys, Yun and Evan, eat pretty moderately, but Tony has an incredible appetite! In fact, this is a look at what Tony ate for dinner. We took them out to eat and Tony ate a regular size dinner at Oishii (6PM), we got home and while Tony was waiting for the Lobster to cook he ate a bowl of Raisan Bran Crunch (8PM), Tony then ate the Lobster with a side of white rice (9PM), after he ate his Lobster and rice he finished the night off with a banana.

Anyway, I thought you might like a visual of the Lobster than I got to cook. We bought them live and even though they were suffocating in a bag for a couple of hours, they managed to still wiggle a little showing us they were alive.




Here's a close-up
Here is Tony working hard to get to the meat
He enjoyed his Lobster and so I count the night as a success and hope that he sees God's love in my willingness to cook Lobster for him that night.

Elijah James

I haven't written a blog in a bit because I worked very hard on a particular blog in July and it somehow didn't save all the way and I got very discouraged. I will try at some point to write the blog over again, but I have to go through a mourning period for it first. Writing another blog is a good exercise in getting over the other one I lost.

Anyway, this past Monday (the 17th) I went to get my third ultrasound. I am not sure why but I guess the doctor just wanted to see what his weight was and how he is devloping (I am 36 weeks, by the way).

The technician spread the jelly over my belly and began moving the instrument around to get different shots of my baby boy. Sometimes I could almost make out what part she was looking at and sometimes I just trusted that she knew what she was talking about. She did get a shot between his legs and said "Yup, it's still a boy." I could actually make that one out when she told me what it was.

The most wondrous thing, though, was when she came to his face. You could see his face so clearly. At first, he had his hand balled into a fist and stuck into his mouth. The technician wanted him to take his hand out so she could have a better shot of his face. He did take it out and visibly yawned and stuck it back in his mouth. It was so clear that he yawned that I reacted with a yawn. You know how when you see a person yawn and then you have to as well? That was how it was and he is not yet outside my womb. I thought that this was so cool.

He yawns and kicks and sleeps. He is, apparently, at about 5 pounds 10 ounces or so, still a boy, and doing great by all measurements. His name is Elijah James and I will be meeting him soon.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

I think people have put "yo daddy" jokes out there, but I have never heard a single one used. I'd like to say that they use "yo mama" because it gets people riled up because they honor their momma but I don't think so.  Usually, "yo mama" jokes are for fun and all parties laugh-it's a joke.

I don't like to blow innocent things out of proportion, yet I think that 'yo mama' jokes are a part of and stem from disrespect in general of women. I have a big problem with the fact that most 'yo mama' jokes begin with "yo mama is so fat..." because women have been socialized to think that if they cannot have attributes that make them 'like a man' and able to survive in that world then the only option they have left or their only asset is their body. Therefore, their body is where they put all of their effort and the assessment others make of their body is where they receive their worth.

This week at camp, we had quite a few twelve and thirteen year old girls and at least a handful were overly concerned with their body and appearance. I began to cringe at every 'yo mama' joke and heard a lot of stuff that I hope I would have noticed whether they were there or not. These girls made comments about their weight and getting too fat. Most did not want to be seen without foundation on. A girl made comments like "when my mom was my age she was skinny like me and then she got fat." It sounds like this girl was a parrot of her mom and the phrase had been said more than once. The same mom reprimanded her daughter when she saw her eat two sno cones and cotton candy at camp. She asked her "do you KNOW how many CALORIES you just ate?" One girl had purposely not brought her swimsuit and only one pair of shorts. I was so happy and proud of her when she started wearing her shorts and even when she wore her jeans she rolled them up. I told her that God thought she was absolutely beautiful and that the staff at camp did too. I hope one day she notices the absolutely stunning smile she has. The one I started to see more of as camp progressed.

In Timothy there is a passage that tells women not to be overly concerned with braiding their hair or what they wear and I don't think it is necessarily because women are overly vain but rather because doing so will take your focus off of God and also because God knows that we need to know that there is more to us than just our appearance no matter what the world throws at us or what men say without thought (and with plenty of thought as well).

I hate when a woman is broken down by her looks-piece by piece. I hate that when a women gets up to speak she is looked at first and then, perhaps, listened to. Most likely, the crowd that heard her will talk as much about the way she looks as the way she speaks. Not so with a male speaker. The same with a female athlete, her physical ability is not so interesting as her physical appearance. If she is slim then you would think that is enough, however, she could be "too muscular." If she isn't slim, and didn't perform well, it's probably because she's "a cow." I've heard it, I've heard it from guys I know really well too. It is so prevalent and so accepted. If you have a problem with it then you are too sensitive and you are laughed off. If you are a guy and don't participate, you are looked at sideways-that is, if you are already cool. If you aren't cool and don't participate, you are a nerd or effeminate. At the least you are just left out which nobody in their right mind wants.

I even remember some girls in my youth group asking some of the guys what their favorite part of a girls body was. I had never ever thought that way and I felt like a whole chicken prepared, cut up, and ready to be barbecued. This one liked legs the best, breast was the best meat, thighs were his taste. I had never noticed each part of my body so acutely before then.

I'm sorry but I don't believe that 'men are just made that way.' I think that excuse is meted out too often, from mens mouths, from the pulpit and, often, with a sigh or laugh, from women's mouths. I believe that we were all born with a sin nature and that people may tend toward certain sins than others (because of genetics, gender, nuture, or decisions). But I believe there is not excuse for men to act this way, for women to act this way, or for daughters and sons to be raised where this is acceptable.

Female Chauvinist Pig

“We decided long ago that the Male Chauvinist Pig was an unenlightened rube, but the Female Chauvinist Pig (FCP) has risen to a kind of exalted status. She is post-feminist. She is funny. She gets it. She doesn’t mind cartoonish stereotypes of female sexuality, and she doesn’t mind a cartoonishly macho response to them. The FCP asks: Why throw your boyfriend’s Playboy in a freedom trash can when you could be partying at the Mansion? Why worry about disgusting or degrading when you could be giving-or getting- a lap dance yourself? Why try to beat them when you can join them? There’s a way in which a certain lewdness, a certain crass, casual manner that has at its core a me-Tarzan-you-Jane mentality can make people feel equal. It makes us feel that way because we are all Tarzan now, or at least we are all pretending to be.”-excerpt from Female Chauvinist Pigs (pg. 93)


"In her memoir, Wells Lawrence returned fire at Steinem. 'What a silly woman,' she wrote. 'I wanted a big life. I worked as a man worked. I didn't preach it, I did it.' How scalding. How convincing. Who wouldn't pick action over nagging, suceeding over hand-wringing? Who doesn't want a big life?

There's just one thing: Even if you are a woman who achieves the ulitmate and becomes like a man, you will still always be like a woman. And as long as womanhood is thought of as something less than manhood, you will be thought less of, too." -excerpt from Female Chauvinist Pigs (pg. 112)


"Adolescents are not inventing this cuture of exhibitionism and conformity with their own fledgling creative powers. Teens are reflecting back our slobbering culture in miniature." -excerpt from Female Chauvinist Pigs (pg. 146)



Female Chauvinist Pigs It was my plan to write my thoughts on this book as soon as I read it while everything was fresh in my mind. Alas, camp started and I never did it. The main reason I read this book (and it caught my attention) was because it was uplifting to see that someone had written about a trend that I felt like only I had noticed. I knew this couldn't be so, which is why I say "felt" instead of "thought." I also felt confirmed by the fact that when I made mention of my notions to other women they didn't have anything to say in response. They did not seem to care and yet, to me, it is such a devastating and harmful trend. It could potentially be (and I think is) full of consequences to women and men and it hurts me as a women to the very core of being created and born a female.

If ever there were a time that females were actually united in the belief that we were created equal to men, even that is now being degraded. Through indirect word and action many females have advocated the idea that to be female is less and that it is something to rise above. To be 'like a man' is the best goal we can achieve.

The idea that one can make a list that encompasses what it is to be 'a man' is ridiculous in the first place. To then make it your goal to reach the requirements on that list is disheartening. What is special about being a woman? The thing that is the saddest in all of this is that one of the requirements, apparently, of being 'like a man' is to practice the degradation of females -and females who look to achieve this goal have no problem with doing so. If they do have a problem with it or if you have a problem with it then they like to label what they do "empowerment."

Just as I believe that the word 'disobedient'' is more accurate to describe some children than labeling them as "ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder)" I believe that condoning porn, engaging in breaking down a female by her looks, saying a phrase that begins with 'women are always...', or proclaiming that you 'don't even like hanging out with women' is still degradation and not empowerment. Calling other women 'bitches' or 'sluts,' where did that come from? We already fight a double standard imposed on us-when men are confident they are 'manly' and inspiring when women are confident they are 'bitches' when men are promiscious they are 'manly' or studs when women even enjoy sex (forget having a lot of it) they are 'sluts.' Am I advocating sex before marriage? Hardly. I am advocating a single standard.

I am advocating the equality of women. I can hear the Christian Males lamenting already..."where are the women from the 1800s?" I don't think 'equality' means being like a man. I think I have already expressed a problem with that. I find it funny and revealing that so many 'strong' Christian men and so many Pigs (whether male or female) have the same ideals. I think equality means that women are regarded and honored for their unique abilities and that it is recognized that you cannot always put those in a neat package. I think equality means that men aren't threatened by women who are as good at something as they are and women aren't called to act like or think that they aren't as good at it. I think that on a basic level equality means that I am not designed to please men. I am designed to please God and to fulfill the plan God created for me. Which might mean I am in a role that is aggressive. It might mean a woman never gets married or has a baby or keeps a house (GASP). It might mean something other than nurse, teacher, secretary...it means that I am not like all other women, it means that I am also not like a man and that it isn't my goal and it has never crossed my mind for it to be my goal.

So, here I am. I didn't write so much about the book as where the desire to read the book came from. However, it is startling that the woman who wrote the book is not a Christian (and mentions the fact) but has a lot of the same general ideas we should have regarding the raising of our daughters and sons and the liability and grotesqueness of pornography and anything resembling it. She compares the satisfaction of looking at pornography to claiming you had a feast after looking at the Food Pyramid Chart. Where are the gentlemen and why is it 'natural' for a man to lust and unnatural for a woman? Why is rape supposed a 'woman's fault' in some cases? Why do young (and old) women have such a skewed view on how to please men and why is that their concern when all is said and done?

This is not quite as neatly put as I would like. But, of course, I have more to say and hope that I can post blogs that are more specific. They will cover this general topic, but focus in on certain parts of the problem. Maybe they won't and they will be written when I just feel like something really needs to be said. Until then...

June

Well, it is June and because I am not a consistent blogger I don't expect that too many people will be reading this. I have a few minutes that are my own right now which is rare at camp. Usually the only time that is my own is when I am asleep and I could possibly be called on then. In fact, I am supposed to be asleep right now and so I suppose that is why I have some time.

The more I think about what I just said, the more I should just laugh. While I am writing this I am also laminating something in the office pertaining to camp. I guess that I think when I am not laminating and answering a phone call or laminating and typing a lesson at the same time that I am having "free time." I have time of my own because I am laminating and BLOGGING.

I am not writing to say anything in particular right now. I am simply writing because it has been a few months and because I need to write. Things are pretty crazy during the summer when you work at a camp and they are crazy in the months prior to camp as well which is why I guess I haven't written in awhile. I get pretty stressed and it nice to punch the keys on this keyboard.

It is funny when you have a leadership role at a camp. A lot less campers know you. They also wonder what you actually do. Every week I have campers tell me that I am lucky because I get to ride in a golf cart (this is actually the first year I have, but they also said I was lucky when I 'got to ride a bike'). What they don't know is that in the time that I saw them at their activity, left, and came back to their activity I may have done two things in the office, talked with their counselor about pertinent information, had a meeting, and spent time with them all in their 40 minute activity. Last week at camp there was camper who said "Your lucky you get to ride in a golf cart...it's like doing go-karts all day long." Bobby said I should have replied "yeah, and I get paid for it, too!" Anyway, if I get any more free time I will write about some funny camp stories. Most of them are inside jokes and aren't nearly as funny written, but I will see what I can do.

Women

I am reading a book about women in World War II and have found it very interesting even though I am only in the second chapter. One of the books major premises is that standards for women are changed during war.
War created circumstances that allowed women to do things that were against social norms-even encouraged them to do things against the social norm.



Even though it was often taken away after the war was over, women's role had been stretched and would never completely fit back into the shape it had been. War was an oxymoron for the women of those days-sad, but liberating- they longed for their sweethearts return but they had a chance to show the world that they are beyond capable.
That books like these have to come out for many to know what women did during the fight is sad. Some people in the forties did not even realize what fronts women were on because they were never reported in the newspaper as being there. It is recorded that the Army nurses were there right along with the men. The nurses suffered the same kind of malnutrition and gunfire as the soldiers. In fact, when the government realized that nurses who were in the same zones as soldiers might need to know something about war, they created a program to train them for it. In training, they had to learn to crawl on their stomachs through mud while a live machine gun was being fired, make stretchers out of coveralls and bedpans out of newspaper. They took 30 mile hikes with a thirty-pound backpack and a four pound helmet to prepare them physically. While on the battlefield all of these things came in handy. It didn't always prepare them for digging foxholes, caring for men with their faces blown off, sleeping in mud, or giving their own blood to the soldiers who needed it. But they did it.
They kept going in spite of their own injuries, one nurse hurt her back and kept serving, eventually severing her spinal cord because she had to make a jump out of a plane with a fifty pound pack.
After sleeping in the mud, carrying heavy backpacks, jumping out of planes, struggling with lifeboats while enemy submarines roamed the waters, and eating rats and frogs when rations ran out they got to go home to ads like this one:

Uncanny

Two days ago I was going to make "extreme" nachos (homeade salsa, nachos with bell pepper, zuchinni, cilantro, ground beef, tomatoes, a minute amount of onions, and lots of cheese) and watch a movie ("Get Smart" to be exact). I went to Baywood Foods which is the closest grocery store and is right next to First Choice where we rent movies. The grocery store did not have cilantro (which I consider the most important element in extreme nachos) and the movie store did not have "Get Smart." I called Bobby to let him know that I was going to have to go to Wal-mart. This was our conversation:




Emily: I am going to be a little later because Baywood didn't have cilantro and First Choice didn't have "Get Smart."



Bobby: That's a bummer



E: I guess I will have to go to Wal-mart (sigh). Do you know of any grocery stores that are closer?



B: John Hitchens said that Big Chief has the best and cheapest produce



E: But Wal-mart is closer than Big Chief. Big Chief is 5 miles away.



B: But I thought you said Wal-mart was 6 miles away.



E: No, I said Wal-mart was 3.5 to 4 miles away.



I recorded this conversation merely to open for the rest of the story of my weird habit/talent. My weird habit is calculating the number of miles to various frequented locations. Also calculating the average number of minutes it takes to drive or walk or run somewhere. I also calculate landmarks along the way so that I know how good my time is, etc. For example, I knew that to get back and forth from Wal-mart to where I was would take about 8.25 minutes or so. I could go through all the reasons why, but I won't.


My talent is calculating how long it will take to get somewhere. When I go to work I know that it takes me 6 minutes driving, 1-2 minutes in the parking lot, and less than 1 minute to walk through the mall to Mastercuts. Therefore, I leave 10-15 minutes before I need to be at work. I have never bought a stopwatch because that would drive me crazy. I would be timing to the second.

I honed this ability playing a game with my brother on our way to church. Houston Church was quite a distance from our house (19 miles) and so Joseph and I would play a game trying to see who could guess the most accurately what time we would arrive at church. I knew that the average was about 22 minutes when the church was on Woodridge and 27 minutes when it moved to Eldridge. So, I would guess based on landmarks (like whether we were on the freeway or not or whether we had passed a certain exit or not). I usually won. I knew how many exits there were and that they were about a mile apart each which meant about 1 minute per exit. So, that usually helped. If there was traffic, I timed how long it took on average for certain flows of traffic and used that in my guessing the next time. I know for a fact that if you are going at least 20 miles an hour on the freeway you should not get off. It isn't faster.

Somehow I calculate when we will arrive somewhere pretty well. When I cooked meals this past weekend one of our staff commented that the food finishes right before it is time to ring the bell. "I time it that way" I said.

With all of this ability, knowing how to calculate time, I usually put about ten more things on my 'to do' list than I can actually do. Well, more like 3 things to be exact.